RAMBILATIONS

So this weekend was packed full of fun. Saturday was my mom’s birthday out on the houseboat and then on Sunday I headed down to Fortner’s lakehouse for some fun with the homies. Here are some stories and highlights from my weekend.

• Watching my mom get drunk again on her birthday, with a little encouragement from me.
• While playing a game called “would you rather” my step dad says, “The problem with this is I don’t know how to spell what I want to say” at which point my 6 year old second cousin says “Don’t worry, I can’t spell either.”
• Seeing my cousin and his family, it’s been a while since we all hung out.
• Thinking I was going to have to drive 1.5 hours to get to Fortner’s lakehouse…it only took 30 minutes…tops.
• Going to the Oasis and eating something besides the biscuits and gravy.
• Jumping in the lake and swimming on numerous occasions
• Seeing that Terry was getting serious and was starting to recruit…RIP Turkey.
• The rattlesnake story: I was walking out of the house to collect firewood. As I started to walk down the hill the ground suddenly moved. Upon further investigation I found that I had just stepped about a foot away from a baby rattlesnake, luckily for me the snake was currently occupied with trying to swallow a rat and was about halfway finished with this endeavor. I immeadiatly ran back up to the lakeroom and started yelling at the guys to come look. They, of course, thought I was joking but grudgenly followed me to the spot where I had seen him. When we returned to the space the snake was nowhere to be seen. The first thing i worried about was not the fact that a baby rattlesnake was wandering around the property, or the fact that there was probably a mom around…the first thing I thought was great, no one is going to believe this story. To add to insult Brad started telling the parable of the Boy who cried Wolf, At this point Fortner yells: Look! there he is! Brad proceeded to grab a broom from mike and beat the defenseless snake who was still trying to scarf down the rat. Brad finally hit the head, after slapshooting the rat across the property. We then cut off the head and buried it. Us:1 Terry’s Army:0 (unless you count the mangled bird)
• Mike puking twice in my car on our way to the gas station, once there, once back
• Lighting off the fireworks, I never knew this, but you’re not supposed to dig the bottle rockets into the ground, the stick is supposed to fly off with them.
• An hour and a half after shooting off the first one, Brad informs me of this and I immeadiatly run to get more to try it out, As I get down towards the fire I notice that a car is coming down the road, and this car had a spotlight. Immeadiatly realizing that this was in fact a cop, something I did not realize existed in Mariposa, I chucked the remaining fireworks. We go up and talk to the cop and the first thing he said was “Be honest with me, were you guys shooting off fireworks?” We decided honesty was the best policy and admitted to the firework violations. He explained to us that fireworks were illegal in Mariposa. He then asked “do you guys have any more?” to which I replied, “yes sir.” He then asks “you guys don’t have anymore right?” To which I replied “no.” He said “good because if you did I would have to confiscate them and write a report.” He ran our information, at which point Fortner was shitting bricks because he thought his dad was going to kill him for getting in trouble (we’re still not sure if his dad will find out). The cop then came back and talked to us for a while and then took off. Also, he was dipping the entire time.
• Jumping off the dam into the lake.
• Swimming out to Goose island and then tackling/throwing mud consisting of goose poop, fish semen, fish poop, sticks, rocks, and god knows what else at Brad. A fight with this foul smelling mud ensued where Brad took a hit to the eye and ear, I got hit in the hair and face, some made it into my mouth. Brad’s ear is still full of this shit.
• Turtle hunting
• Listening to the Hawk
• Hanging out with some of the best friends I’ve ever had.

So today has been the first day of the summer where I have done absolutely nothing at work today, and thus, have been extremely bored. So in my boredom I decided to turn to my loyal ally Hulu.com. I was feeling like something new today and the normal family guy, simpsons, or colbert report just wouldn’t cut it. So i started browsing through the TV Show section and came across a show called Dorm Life.

Now the episodes are only 5 minutes long but each one is packed with hilarious shenanigans that will take you back to your dorm days, or at least your first year of college. I can honestly say that in each episode I have literally laughed out loud at work. Give it a chance and you won’t be disappointed.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/21250/dorm-life-roommates#x-0,vepisode,1

(via fuckyeah3oh3)

I’m Stoked!

@ryan_solo:

RT @rjpallari:

Happy 21st mike! Have fun riding dolphins, doing flips and shit!

Happy 21st mike! Have fun riding dolphins, doing flips and shit! - Wait I thought drinking was the priority!

Well ya that too…hopefully he doesnt get a RDUI (Riding Dolphins under the influence)…and I fully realize that this is exactly something that Webb would reply with, and I’m ashamed of myself for even posting it.

I just found out, contrary to my prior belief, that A Love Like Pi will not be playing at the San Francisco Warped Tour. The Warped Tour website decided to tickle my balls by putting them in the band line up, however, they won’t be on the San Francisco stop. I’m a little bummed because they were one of the main bands that I wanted to see.

Oh well, still super stoked and there is plenty of other bands to watch.